I can't stop lying to save my soul

Live fast, die young? A review on the trajectory of my life spinning out of control. If I feel too much, put the pen to the paper, read up. What does my face look like in the mirror. Who’s staring back at me, melancholy, no emotion that’s for posers. Try to feel too much, let the sensations bleed from your fingertips like ink from a pen. Re-learn how to live again. You’re so much more than the shape they made you. I hate being seen, being more than just a form in your mind alone, touch skin telepathy. No words needed, we are our own language. I’m high on caffeine and sinking feelings, bleeding hearts. I can’t stop lying to save my soul. I gave myself two stick and poke tattoos in the shape of schemas, I can’t do anything complicated when the stakes are high. I hope my parents never find out. An eye for how I’m always being watched, how no one can trust me to be myself on my own. A heart, on my inner arm for how I wear my heart on my sleeve, and how this heart will always be covered by a sleeve. There’s comfort in being alone because you become friends with yourself. I’m still getting there, frenemies.